Your name was my first word
My name was one among many
Your name I kept sacred, above all the others
My name was held close, the first responsibility
Your name I placed too high, unreachable thoughts
My name you let down, a child who was also a mom
Your name I let go, into the dawn sky
My name you placed down, a gem on the shelf
Your name it did change, I felt left behind
My name did change, but to you it’s the same
I am different than I was, but you speak to that child
You are different than you were, but I miss your old smile
My happiest memories, were alone or with you.
Your memories are unknown, but behind each eye I see.
I remember laying under your bed, sleeping with the dust bunnies
You once laid in that bed as I fed you pie, almost dead from a fever
We hid from them and begged of them to love us
Our sin was not enough to beget the memories they gave
They left us an inheritance of scars and responses
They prickled through our skin and made us our monsters
I miss the days when we jumped on the couch
You loathe the times we fought and chewed out
I want you to let me grow, to see me as I am
You want me to shelter, to give you a hand
But we have locked in a cycle, our names misunderstood
For we call to the names the other does not want to
You nickname was my first word
My nickname was one of your many
But I know that you love me
and you know I love you too